Getting My Man

Note: names have been changed to protect privacy

It may be as the result of too many Disney Princess movies. You know….girl always getting her guy. Or, maybe it is one of the rites of passage of turning five. (Keep reading as I am going for option A. I mean we are talking five!)

After a night out with Daddy at soccer at which many of her little friends were in attendance, my little girl bounces in to see me and plops down for a snuggle and a chat. Conversation ensues about who was there and what she did. She then quickly declares that she is going to marry a little boy who I will call T-man (and really he is “the man” with this group of 5 and 6 year olds). Well, for the past year and a half, she was always going to marry another little boy who we will call “M-man.” She used the word “marry” but it was never clear if she knew what that meant. I instantly question the change of heart. “Well, Mommy, you see Mallory and I like T-Man.” Hmmm…I start getting the picture.

Now as background, it is no secret Mallory has a crush on T-man. It really came to light during a recent school camping trip. First, you must picture T-Man. He is a miniature Indiana Jones complete with the hat, boots, swagger and confidence. He comes by it naturally as his parents are awesome; each also have a myriad of talents including dancing (we affectionately nicknamed his Mom "Dancing Queen" at our last party) and singing (the Dad entertains us with a smooth voice as he strums the guitar around a picturesque campfire).

Anyway, there we were on the playground, T-man surrounded by a gaggle of little girls oblivious to his obvious effect on them. He decides to head down to where some of the daddies were playing basketball and as is typical, three of the older 6 year old girls were flanking his sides. I swear it was Danny or Kenickie from Grease with the Pink Ladies following every move. Then, running as fast as her little legs would carry her, comes Mallory screaming “Wait for me T-man, I’m coming.” Finally, bringing up the rear was my little angel who was also screaming at the top of her lungs almost the exact same thing with one small difference: “Wait for me Mallory, I’m coming.” A pent up sigh of relief had emerged my lips as I realized she was still my little baby and unaware of romance and crushes. Or so I had thought.

Back to the post-soccer chat. “Well, honey, I thought Mallory liked T-man.” “Well, I like him now too Mommy.” “So, sweetie, is Mallory going to marry T-man too?” “No, Mommy, she says he is already going to marry someone else.” “Well, who would that be honey?” “Oh, one of the older girls.” “So, if Mallory can’t marry him and he is already going to marry someone else, how are you going to?” “Oh, Mommy (and I think I almost heard the word…Puuullllease…), I will be grown up then and I will find a way so that he doesn’t marry those other girls and chooses me.” This is all said with the utmost in seriousness, positivity and determination. There is no question that my little angel believes she is going to marry T-Man no matter what.

I sit back at that point and try to analyze how I should feel about this exchange. On the one hand, I am proud of the confidence, determination and security she is displaying in going after what she wants. On the other, is that manipulation, disregard for others’ feelings, and ego creeping up? Oh, Mommy, you think too much!

Well, it just so happens that T-man was with us last night and I had the opportunity to get his feedback on this new development. “So, T-man, my daughter told me that she is going to marry you.” He looks at me quizzically and responds, “No, I don’t think so. I am going to marry Le-Ann.” There is no doubt in the response. I could only think at that moment of all that T-Man will be learning over the next twenty-five years about the whiles of women. Watch out T-Man….little angel Afshary has set her sights on you. Reminds me of one of the great movie heroines of our time:

Scarlett: “Rhett! If you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?”

Rhett: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Scarlett: “I can’t let him go. I can’t. There must be some way to bring him back. Oh, I can’t think about that now. I’ll go crazy if I do, I…I’ll think about that tomorrow. I must think about it. I must think about it. What is there to do? What is there that matters?

Scarlett: "Tara! Home. I'll go home. And, I'll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day!